Friday, April 28, 2006

My Evil Plan

My evil plan to take over the back yard is working!

Well not really an evil plan, and not the whole yard, but it is a plan and it is working.

Here was the basic idea:

Infiltration: You plant a few grapes, not too many, but enough that you can actually make something out of it, but not so much that it imposes itself as a major project. You know, it reflects a little bit of an obsessive behavior, but not anything that requires therapy or lithium.
I settled on 20 vines.

Acclimation: Not of the wines, No, the family. It has to become a non-issue. Nothing out of the ordinary. "Vines in the back yard? Oh yea. Hey, how was your day? Wow, this dinner is very good; what is that great flavor. You look great this evening. Oh, hey, I need to run." The new, young vineyard needs to be sheltered from any chance of negative discussion until they have woven themselves into our daily lives like the air we breath.

This is key. The 20 vines must be protected from ill thoughts. It would be so easy to have a discussion pop up as some dinner with family or friends that could undermine the whole plan. It would be a shame to have the whole plan die at this point just because someone wants to use the space for a lawn or something silly like that. I mean really, a lawn, in a back yard.
Let's be real!

The Foothold: The vines have survived the gophers, the rabbits (don't get me started again about the rabbits), the family discussions. Their roots are now extending down deep into the soil and weaving themselves into our daily lives.

The Expansion Groundwork: This is a risky time. I have to do it right. A conversation like this follows: "You know dear? Those vines really look good. They are doing real well too and I think they compliment the back yard well. I may put a few more in. You look real nice this evening!" (then exit quickly).

The Expansion: 22 new vines arrive. About doubling the number of existing vines. Two more rows, two more vines per row. The unusually wet spring let up finally. One reasonably dry day of digging and planting and now I am twice the grape grower that I was a the week before.

This doubling works well. Obviously, doubling can't go on for ever. The math geek in me knows that that is not possible.
But, lets see what happens in another 2 years.